Leave the third one alone

It's Friday evening, I'm on a red wine swing, I think about my lovers past and future and I've just realised that I probably should classify this blog as containing 'adult content'! I always thought that if I come to this I would write dirty sex stories, erotics like "Emmanuel" or rather descriptive accounts of dark nights when I got laid. Ha, life has chosen a different path for me. Nonetheless, I use the word 'sex' freely and I'm just about to breach a controversial topic so let it be.

This is my small manifesto about the cheater, the cheated and the third one.

Many of us have played all the roles, some of us only two or one and probably not that many none (let's be realistic - this is life). It doesn't matter why things happen and where they lead. Let's look at the morals, the ethics.
For some bizzare reasons our society is ultimately targeting the third one. I always asked and I still ask 'why?' For that is the only person in the equation that is formally unattached and therefore ultimately free to do whatever they please. Why should the third one be blamed for mistakes of the cheater? How come the cheated one instead of facing the reality prefers to blame the innocent one?
I say all of this not because I'm single and therefore most likely to happen to be the third one. I say it because my inquiring mind likes to think things over, to put them on a universal scale of good and bad and then build a picture of perfection in this imperfect world.
Perfect for being just and honest. Imperfect for a conflict shall always be present and a dynamic nature of humans will bring a lot of drama and emotional spectacles.

Going back to the topic.
The cheated one is the one we should feel sorry for. And we do. His/her viewpoint is hazed by the emotions and maybe I can just about understand why it leads to a lot of cursing and swearing on the third one. It's easier like this. Who needs their heart broken more? Who wants to admit that a person they love is a piece of shit and has no regards for them? Let's find a scapegoat.
The cheater messed up a big time. Clearly if they had no guts to deal with a situation in a civilised manner and they opted for a little bit of sex behind their partner's back no-one should expect them to have enough morals and standards to admit their own failings. They too will blame the one they cheated on with.
The third one - the most innocent participants of the affair. Let's not forget that the third one may or may not know what role he/she is playing. And has no obligation to do so! I usually recommend not getting involved with a paired person for falling for an engaged person is a big mistake but do what you wish. If one does become the third one it's okay. It's not that person's responsibility to be responsible for a whole world around them. In fact he/she is really needed in that couple's life at that particular moment. Think about it. There's more in it than just pretty words.
The world however joins in the beating and smacking of the innocent one. The blaming culture is widespread and powerful. And I fear it.